Friday, December 31, 2010

A Decade ago & Looking forward.

When I look back in ten long years gone by… What I know now which I did not know then?
Of course age makes feel good inside and bad outside but apart from that ….how was the show in the matter of Education, Employment, Finance, family, friends, health, travel, spirituality, wisdom, knowledge and rest of the other victories and disasters? What did I learn and what is it that I am still trying to understand as a person?

Hard work and diligence counts, a decade ago I thought I would never be able to join college even but having my PG degree proves that no matter when but some day all the toil we do pays back.
A wish to be independent came true either…A decade ago, I had stared at expensive perfume and sighed ‘wish I can buy this for me’… now I can enjoy that pricy perfume. I pay for all my necessity and can save for my uncertain future :) I thank all of those who supported me in doing this. Yet there is lots to do though.
My lonely years in faraway land made me realize the value of my family. Honestly, it feels like heaven when I have my parents and siblings around. It’s extremely delighting to have two little nieces who twaddle in my ears. I pray that I will always have them by my side.

I also earned 3 new friends in the decade passed, hopefully they will be there till the end. Interestingly I am more thankful to those who came in the form of friend and turned out to be something else… I was deceived, I was misunderstood and cheated. Now I know, you never know whom to trust before you are betrayed. Now I know that we have to take the calculative risk and let things go sometimes. Now I know that it hurts but nothing lasts really. Now I know that there is destiny and there is time. In such cases nothing can be done except being careful. Now I konw that few lessons are expensive but stumble prevents the fall.

I weigh less than a decade ago and run better too. To my surprise, I turn out to be a role model in the area of health and fitness for my age. I think I did ok there by God’s grace.
Well, Bravo to me !! …I have developed the skills of silently counting down the minutes of each day is the most estimable achievement, which I had thought I will never learn a decade ago.

Now the rest of the areas where I performed not so good :( I travelled to 10 new cities in India and 5 new cities abroad. This should have been double. I am actually not so ameliorated in spiritually as well, Though I am trying. I am relatively wiser than a decade ago but still not up to the mark as per my own standards. I can make better choices for sure but lots to be done to prove myself as knowledgeable… Actually it’s in ‘Work-in-progress’ status where I have just figured what I can have for myself and how.

I must thank last decade for giving me the staying powers, affability, and adaptability.
Hope I can work on detachment, cognition and spirituality in coming new decade.

Close up:
“even a brick wants to be something”
~Louies Khan

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Playing God.

At this moment, I am having an affair with Divinity. I realized that love doesn’t fluctuate, the very quality of love is something which lasts, something which doesn’t leave you. Or may be affection is for humans…because affection dissolves, affection develops and affection shifts…and love is for God. Hah…Now I will say that it can only be with God, humans don’t deserved to be loved.

Na thaa kuch to khuda thaa, kuch na hota to khuda hota
duboya mujhko hooney ney, na hota main, toh kya hota?

"When nothing was, then God was there; had nothing been, God would have been,
My being has defeated me, had I not been what would have been?"

I had been Shiva devotee for long...thinking that Shiva is God. Unless the thought stuck, Shiva is meditating !? To Whom? Shiva is meditating to God?? Means shiva is not the God? May be …well, During my entire being, he was with me…2000 yrs ago and 350 yrs from now, he will be with me.

“I needed God. He was given to me and I received Him without entirely comprehending what I was seeking. Then – because my heart didn’t let Him set roots there- God ended up dying inside me. Today, when people mention Him, I say – like an old man trying to revive an old flame, ‘Fifty years ago, if there wasn’t a misunderstanding, if there weren’t certain mistakes, if there wasn’t the accident that separated us, both of us would have had a beautiful love story.’”

“The Words” Jean-Paul Sartre. French philosopher.

Close up:

"I wanted you to see what real courage is, instead of getting the idea that courage is a man with a gun in his hand. It's when you know you're licked before you begin but you begin anyway and you see it through no matter what. You rarely win, but sometimes you do."

~Harper Lee

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Winter winds.

Mischiefs in the surrounds, winter wind told me the story I have heard long ago.
Sun becomes recital and every ray becomes reciting the old tale.
Distances call from far, all the awaiting dispersed in the shiver.

Sitting against fire, Still I am cold, Warmth is neither felt nor ignored.
Games of dark and light, Oh this, vicinity and aloofness.
Winter winds telling me the tale, I have heard long ago.

Every moment elapsed looking for another one, every moment of gaining and loosing.
Making a little mark, on my heart, each of those moments faded…
Again, this winter wind is telling me the tale, I have heard long ago.

~Close up:
(Image is from Flickr, Phillip Klinger)

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Being Intelligent.

My personal definition of umbrella term intelligence is
-To be strictly be able to decide on priorities i.e., To discard the unimportant and improper.
-To be brave enough to implement the priorities ruthlessly.
-To be able to relate and resolve the problems (priorities) in minimal time, with minimum efforts.
But as per the Wikipedia “IQ scores reflect general capacity for performing intellectual tasks, such as solving verbal and mathematical problems”.IQ (intelligence quotient) = (Mental Age / Chronological Age) x 100. The average IQ score is 100.

50% of people have IQ scores between 90 and 110
• 2.5% of people are very superior in intelligence (over 130)
• 2.5% of people are mentally deficient / impaired / retarded (under 70)
• 0.5% of people are near genius or genius (over 140)
As they (intellectuals) always amaze me, thought of exploring inside intelligence.

Summarizing the wonderful traits of being intelligent is being cognitive. Which widens to include original, unusual ideas,creativity, superior abilities to reason, generalize or problem solve,vivid and rich imagination, extensive vocabulary, learns new things rapidly, excellent long term memory, grasps mathematical/scientific concepts readily, insightful, avid reader, complex and deep thoughts,abstract thinker, runs mind on multiple tracks at the same time.
Being emotional which means highly sensitive, beautiful sense of humour, perceptive, keen sense of observation, passionate,sensitive to small changes in environment, introverted, aware of things that others are not, perceive world differently, tolerance for ambiguity, can see many sides, childlike sense of wonder, openness to experience, emotional stability, serenity.
Being active/Social comprises great deal of energy, long attention span, persistent, cannot stop thinking, work myself to exhaustion,needs periods of contemplation, solitude, spontaneity, questions rules or authority, asks embarrassing questions, feels different, out of step with others, empathetic (feels along with others, helps them understand themselves).

Also some of questions arouse base on observations are “Why do they do crazy/unnatural stuff? Why intellectuals are night owls? , Why they insult ignorance? , why are they unhappy? , why do they have messy handwritings? , why are the atheists?, like Ravana (who was very knowledgeable) why intellectuals indulge in criminal/anti social activities ? Why intelligent men don’t cheat their partner?”

By evolution we adopted psychological modules to solve all the familiar problems. We have established standards for general issues.We know what to do when it comes to mating, parenting, learning a language or earning bred for family. These things already have ready-made solutions in our brain, but sometimes there are new problems that requires to think and that’s how intelligence develops.So in contention some people think, reason and solve novel problems.Some people even introduce new problems to engage and prove their intelligence.The key part of the equation is they derive new challenges and they sit and solve to feel intellectually satisfied. Hence intelligence makes people do unnatural things by not following the standards.
Once again, few of that intelligent people do unnatural things and staying up all night or may indulge in criminal/antisocial is part of unnatural things given human nature. Our ancestors depended on natural sources like wake up when the sun comes and go to bed when sun comes down. Being phylogenetically different some of more intelligent are more likely to engage in nocturnal activities. Same with believing in God. We are designed to be religious. Declining the higher power that cause natural phenomenon is another important trait of intellectuals and they become atheist, honoring their ability to reason.
Why is it so common for intelligent people to insult ignorance? Talking to a little kid is cute for 10 minutes. Imagine if everyone else was 3,4,5 year old? And Mr/Ms. Genius get to talk with someone who is comparatively less mature or less understanding for so long ! They will surely get frustrated while talking to someone who is not on same page intellectually.Personally I feel, Ignorance implies that a person doesn't know not that they are being intellectually dishonest.

why are they unhappy ? Some intellectuals have issues such as Asperger's Syndrome. This makes them rather focused or may be anti-social, but they are very skilled at specific things. Few geniuses get isolated at a early age because they have little interest in talking with others or people find them too smart to hang around with. Expressing things into words is also difficult for them because they might be presenting unique ideas..Regarding penmanship, It appears they care more about the message than how it looks. Show of the words is unimportant. They also have more stuff to figure out quickly then us which makes them least bothered about looks of the word. We see lot many doctors, lawyers,professors with sloppy handwritings which could be often a sign of higher intelligence.

How about proving their brains on sexuality ?
Recent example occurs to me is Tiger wood and Pandit Ravishankar.Genius in sports and music. Adopted new preferences and values in sexual liberalism … but well that dosen’t prove very smart of them based on logical research…Several researches are stating from studies that cheating men have a lower IQ. Or take it as smarter men (not woman) are more 'evolved', they are suppose to accept the new terms of evolution, which includes monogamy. Humans are by nature polygamous,which means that evolutionarily men had multiple mates, whereas women always had one mate in their relationships, So more intelligent men may like to reject that natural state of polygamy and value sexual exclusivity, whereas intelligence doesn’t affect women’s tendency to value sexual exclusivity…

This studies, like many other studies, tends to over-generalize, over-label, and under-appreciate the uniqueness of the individual human soul. There is a difference between being smart, being intelligent and being wise. For example, to design and build a hydrogen bomb takes intelligence - But is building something that could potentially destroy civilization is it such a wise use of brainpower? well there is no standard or formula to measure wisdom though. If you can derive ABC you are intelligent, If you know ABC you are smart, if you can see D coming you are wise... :-D

~Close up:

“There is no ‘why’?”

Friday, September 3, 2010

Day in the dark.

"My darling. I'm waiting for you. How long is the day in the dark? Or a week? The fire is gone, and I'm horribly cold. I really should drag myself outside but then there'd be the sun. I'm afraid I waste the light on the paintings, not writing these words. We die. We die rich with lovers and tribes, tastes we have swallowed, bodies we've entered and swum up like rivers. Fears we've hidden in - like this wretched cave. I want all this marked on my body. Where the real countries are. Not boundaries drawn on maps with the names of powerful men. I know you'll come carry me out to the Palace of Winds. That's what I've wanted: to walk in such a place with you. With friends, on an earth without maps. The lamp has gone out and I'm writing in the darkness."

Katharine in Clifton The English Patient

Close up:
~"What happenes in my conscience is more important than what happened in my genes. "

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Love Again.

An old friend is in love and that remind me of love again…. :-)

Being in love is anything is possible in creation.
Being in love is not needing to understand what’s happening.
Being in love is everything is happening within me.
Being in love is when everything makes more sense.
Being in love is reading two volumes of one book.
Being in love is destroying the fear of an end.
Being in love is responding the nature.
Being in love is integrating the song and the poetry.
Being in love is freeing time from the prison of years.
Being in love is melting my face into yours.

~Close up:
“Nothing is so strong as gentleness, nothing so gentle as real strength”.
St. Francis de

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

The Success

Now since my another birth date is approaching I asked myself again if it was worth spending these many years in here, what did I achieve?
The obvious answer was – NO – Looser – Failure. Big Time. Because I failed (royally) in two extremely important things, Which I always wanted and drudged for all these years.
Ok, I accept it whatever the results are. Moreover, thought I must confirm if I am a loser, I looked up the dictionary.
Failure (n.) – an act or instance of failing or proving unsuccessful; lack of success“lack of success ?!?!” I must see what is the success then…
Success (n.) – the favorable or prosperous termination of attempts or endeavors. Meaning once you are executed all your attempts or endeavors, you are a success.

Why can’t the Success be Success …
1. Because you are able to remain positive in a world that’s full of negativity and despair.
2. Because you spread love into the world.
3. Because you are constantly willing to discover, develop, and dilate.
4. Because you are compromising. You understand that if one thing doesn’t work out, you can try something else.
6. Because you live in a world where everyone tells you that you “can’t,” yet you try anyway.
7. Because you think it is.

Close up:
“Smile, breath, and go slowly.”
- Thich Nhat Hanh

Saturday, May 15, 2010


Cleaned - Cooked- Ate.
Visited beauty parlour.
Bought two cushions and a small vacuum cleaner.
Played cricket in the street with three little boys and it was raining.
Fixed lunch at friend's for tomorrow.
Skipped gym.
Talked two hrs. at home.
Watched 'Wake up sid'.
And blogged finally.

Close up:
Jo hame chahiye use hum nahi chahiye,
Jisko hum chahiye, vo kisko chahiye?
(Whom we want, they don't want us. Who wants we really want them? )
~ A college friend, comapnien in singlehood :)

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Reading of the week

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times;
It was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness;
It was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity;
It was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness;
It was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair;
We had everything before us, we had nothing before us;
We were all going directly to Heaven, we were all going the other way.
-Charles Dickens

Close up:
"We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse." :)
~ Unknown.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

The unwise.

If the childhood is most unwise part of the life...
Why can't we let it go till death?
Why we hid it in deepest of our heart forever?
Why we always want go back to it?
Close up:
"Attraction is NOT a choice."

Sunday, February 28, 2010

What is in no. 4 ?

Check these numbers out - 4, 8, 16, 24…48, 56, 64, 72…
There are 108 beads in the rosaries.

1 ‘Ghadi = 24 min, 8 ‘Ghadi’ = 1 Prahar (192 min), A day = 32 ‘Ghadi’ (768 min) or 4‘Prahar’ and a night is made of 4 ‘Prahara’ too.

A working day is of 8 hours and a year has 4 seasons.

There are 4 vedas and 4 sections of life.

There are 4 main directions and we Gujarati’s circle the fire 4 times in wedding each circle stands for religion, finance, pleasure and salvation. These are 4 important pillar of the human life.

There are 8 planets in the sky…

Moon has these 16 degrees of successive lunation.

Woman can have 16 different ways of dressing and man can have 32 virtues. Woman's age is again parted into 4 segment 1-16 is 'Bala' (youngster), 16-32 is ''Yuva' (youth), 32- 48 is 'Praudha' (matured), and 48 - 64 is 'Vridha' (aged).... (I think, those days, woman's average life expectancy would have been around 65 years).

There are 32 different branch of knowledge and 64 are the forms of art for female and 72 for male. 4 of 32 knowledge streams are considered to be main, Aurved (Medicine), Dhanurved (Archery), Gandharvaved (Occult), Tantraved (Sorcery)…As far as art is concerned Male’s field is expanded to accommodate some audacity, wassailing & gambling skills, which is not for females…whatever…

But...What is in no. 4 ?

Close up:
“I believe in a lively disrespect for most forms of authority…”
~Rita Mae Brown

Friday, February 5, 2010

The Ends.

On 8th Dec Tuesday morning at 6 AM, My land lord Uncle expired. Leaving a dark close room, where his voice echoed all the time. The house seems empty without his presence. He helped me getting the job, he did not take the deposit for the house and didn’t increased the rent from past four years, He checked for my convenience, he shouted at me for forgetting the key inside the house…no one to ask ‘kya ho raha hai Beti?’ now….

There is another death in the same week. There was a friend (xyz), constant companion from past almost 2 years…xyz decided to go away from my life due to personal reasons. I tried talking to xyz to be with me but it seems reluctant and decided to completely cut me off and depart permanently from my life forever. A beautiful relation died. As I believe that true friendship last forever, I convince myself, it was never there. It has created a vacuum…where we shared so much, laughed so much, went out to eat and shop, where we spent Saturday evenings at Saibaba temple and chattered before returning home… I sit all alone and wish what if my friend was around with me….but it’s bygone... This is life. It happens. A friend died. :-(

This is called death. The end. The only actuality in all the illusions. Everything ends. You don’t find them anywhere, you look for them, and you imagine what if they were around….you sigh and try to get into what you have than what is gone.

Finding a good house and a good house with caring Uncle who is interested in tenant’s comfort and security more than money is blessing. I wish to continue in the same house unless my life offers some other option, to be with Aunty, who is left alone.
Finding a good friend is difficult. True friends are even harder to get. Therefore losing friend is a sad occurrence… I used to tell, “with you I look back on my tears and laugh” but I never thought "I’d look back on our laughter and cry".…

There is last scene in the movie “My best friend’s wedding”…where Julia Robert stares at Michael O’Neal back with the eagerness and awe, who is walking away with his bride…
He turns back at her with warm smile and a hug…true friends always turn back at you, they won’t let you go.
Let me pray for that…though I know which is impossible, hope someday xyz come back in my life…And we can tease each other about our walking style…

Close up:
"What a piece of work is man!”
~William Shakespeare

Monday, January 4, 2010

Can you hear a Pin drop?

Veer Savarkar once started addressing a public meeting in Hindi at Bangalore.
The crowd started shouting " Speak in Kannada. We will hear only in kannada."Veer Savarkar replied " Friends, I have spent 14 years of rigorous imprisonment in ill famous Andaman Jail where all freedom fighters were kept in jail. I have learned Bengali from the freedom fighters coming from Bengal, Hindi from those coming from Uttar Pradesh, even gujarathi and punjabi. Unfortunately there was none from Karnataka from whom I could have learned Kannada."
...and there was pin drop silence !

At a time when the US President and other US politicians tend to apologize for their country's prior actions, here's a refresher on how some former US personnel handled negative comments about the United States.JFK'S Secretary of State, Dean Rusk, was in France in the early 60's when Charles DeGaule, the French President, decided to pull out of NATO. DeGaule said he wanted all US military out of France as soon as possible.Rusk responded "does that include those who are buried here? DeGaule did not respond.
You could have heard a pin drop !

When in England , at a fairly large conference, Colin Powell was asked by the Archbishop of Canterbury if US plans for Iraq were just an example of empire building by George Bush.
He answered by saying, 'Over the years, the United States has sent many of its fine young men and women into great peril to fight for freedom beyond our borders. The only amount of land we have ever asked for in return is enough to bury those that did not return.'
You could have heard a pin drop !

There was a conference in France where a number of international engineers were taking part, including French and American. During a break, one of the French engineers came back into the room saying 'Have you heard the latest dumb stunt Bush has done? He has sent an aircraft carrier to Indonesia to help the tsunami victims. What does he intended to do, bomb them?'
A Boeing engineer stood up and replied quietly: 'Our carriers have three hospitals on board that can treat several hundred people; they are nuclear powered and can supply emergency electrical power to shore facilities; they have three cafeterias with the capacity to feed 3,000 people three meals a day, they can produce several thousand gallons of fresh water from sea water each day, and they carry half a dozen helicopters for use in transporting victims and injured to and from their flight deck. We have eleven such ships; how many does France have?'
You could have heard a pin drop!

A U.S. Navy Admiral was attending a naval conference that included Admirals from the U.S. , English, Canadian, Australian and French Navies. At a cocktail reception, he found himself standing with a large group of Officers that included personnel from most of those countries. Everyone was chatting away in English as they sipped their drinks when a French admiral suddenly complained that, whereas Europeans learn many languages, Americans learn only English.
He then asked, 'Why is it that we always have to speak English in these conferences rather than speaking French?'
Without hesitating, the American Admiral replied, 'Maybe it's because the Brit's, Canadians, Aussie's and Americans arranged it so you wouldn't have to speak German.'
You could have heard a pin drop!

Robert Whiting , an elderly US gentleman of 83, arrived in Paris by plane. At French Customs, he took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry on.
"You have been to France before, monsieur?" the customs officer asked sarcastically.
Mr. Whiting admitted that he had been to France previously.
"Then you should know enough to have your passport ready."
The American said, 'The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it."
"Impossible. Americans always have to show your passports on arrival in France !"
The American senior gave the Frenchman a long hard look. Then he quietly explained, ''Well, when I came ashore at Omaha Beach on D-Day in 1944 to help liberate this country,I couldn't find a single Frenchman to show a passport to."
You could have heard a pin drop!

-An email forward.

Close up:
"Change is one thing. Acceptance is another."
~Arundhati Roy

Sunday, January 3, 2010


The celestial talk of ‘Makar sankarati’ provoked these thoughts …
When I was in 5th standard, in History book I had read about Samrat Ashok, his figure was there too, next to it…Well I was surely taken by him completely, and another personality swept me off was Galileo Galilee ten years later. I had read about him in science supplement of local newspaper. Then on I have read everything I could about this guy.

Father of experimental physics; he joined the university as student of medicine and philosophy; Was appointed professor of mathematics, Was interested in the motion of falling bodies, spherical geometry, nautical engineering, and astronomy. (isn’t it enough to be stumped!)

Galilee proved that Copernicus was right that earth is circle around sun, not the opposite. Then he published, Church opposed. Then the church, tell him to change it but he refused. Then he was captive in jail until he changes his mind, but turn out until he died he never change his mind. "And yet ... it moves." Allegedly said by Galileo after, and accepting the church’s claim that the Earth was unmoving.
Sick – Aged – Truehearted scientist was house arrested till death still he put forward and defend the position of human beings in the universe. Through a telescope (his invention) set in his garden behind his house, Galileo saw the Milky Way, the valleys and mountains of the moon. He had hernia, insomnia & went blind at last checking his galaxies with his telescope.

The sentiments:

- This society and its rigid rules never left the great Galileo, where do we stand Buddy?
(Go on with what is important for you.)
- Where does the strength come from to stand with what you believe in for so long?
- Not only victorious write the history but the losers too.
- At last, the perpetrator was enlightened and the entire church was blind.
- We should be polite in dealing with authorities…Vatican did not trouble Copernicus but they were badly after Galileo. (Was that his ego? Remembering that Galileo also argued that science can know everything, Church will never accept this Man…)
- Why did destiny take the eyesight away from the old man after all that? When enough is enough?

I admire what Galileo was and I am inspired, how he did what he wanted to. Truly mindful.

Close up:
“Because reason is not sufficient to understand the universe.”